News and Articles
November 2004
The Daily Home Talladega, Sylacauga-Pell City, Alabama
Dear Millie,
Our family has been invited to join our business partners and their family for a dinner during the holiday. I am worried about how to prepare our children, ages 8 and 10. They do not have the best table manners.
Dear Reader,
For all parents, holiday entertaining comes with the hopes that the children will make a good impression on guests. A holiday meal or special occasion isn't the time to give your child a manners 101 class. If you are concerned about how your children are likely to behave at the table, start talking about dinner manners well in advance of the holiday or the event.
Having special "good manners nights" not only before the holidays but occasionally is a good way to emphasize etiquette ahead of time. This can be a fun family time in which everyone practices using their best dining skills. Have your children practice the role of being a good guest and host. Some basic dining manners to practice include: coming to the table neat and tidy, holding utensils correctly and using them for the correct dishes, keeping your napkin on your lap, sitting up straight in your chair with your feet on the floor, keeping elbows off the table, and, even if it is the worst dish on earth, avoiding rude comments or noises. Give the children the right words to use. For example, ask them to say "No thank-you, I don't care for any" instead of announcing "I hate cranberries", or Gross what is that?" If they understand which words are more likely to hurt feelings, they are more likely to avoid using these phrases. It is also good for kids to remember that when in doubt, they should imitate the manners of the grown ups, or at least the ones with manners! Another guide for the practice dinners, no one should leave the table until everyone is finished. Remind the children to thank and compliment the cook.
By working on one new etiquette rule at a time you will avoid overwhelming your child.
Dear Millie,
What is the rule of re-gifting?
Dear Reader,
This is sticky, but you can proceed with caution. Follow these guidelines: First and foremost, only give something you think the receiver would like to have which means no cast offs. The gift must be brand-new not used and in its original package, and the person who gave you the gift and the new receiver shouldn't be able to catch on that you've re-gifted. Good judgment is a must. Be sure to rewrap the item and remove the original gift card. If there is any chance of the friend who gave you the gift could find out that you passed the gift on to someone, don't do it. It is never a good idea to re-gift a one-of-a-kind present, when it was made for you. Proceed with caution.
Dear Millie,
We are having an open house and we would like to have our children ages, 7, 11, and 13 to help. What are some things they can do to help?
Dear Reader,
These are a few ideas to use your children when you entertain.
- All children are expected to stand up when introduced and greet guests as they arrive. Children as young as preschool age can learn to shake hands and say "hello my name is ___".
- The Children can help by asking them to take the guest coats, or pass plates of hors d'oeuvres.
- The children should be able to reply to guest when they ask them questions to make conversation. Look at the guest when they speak, and not down at their feet.
- Remind children that they should speak in soft voices.
The children will see that manners are about being considerate of others and making your guest feel at ease.